Simple steps so that people listen to you and remember what you say

Do you want people to remember what you say?

In principle, you can limit yourself to taking into account 3 simple steps that make each speech and/or presentation you have to make unforgettable. In addition, you want those who listen to you to be well impressed. That you impact them

These steps will make you a better speaker, and they work for one-on-one conversations, too.

A few simple changes in the way you present information to an audience, or even to another person, will make information easy to understand and hard to forget. That advice comes from TV and movie legend Alan Alda.

Alda is best known for playing Hawkeye on the television series M*A*S*H, but in recent years he has become something of a communication specialist, especially when it comes to communicating science to non-scientists. .

In an interview with Big Think, Alda presented three tips for effective communication. You can use them to make your own communications more understandable and memorable.

A few simple changes to the way you present information to an audience, or even another person, will make information easy to understand and hard to forget

 

  1. You should build on no more than three main points.

Are you guilty of doing a “brain dump,” where you research a topic in depth and then impart all that knowledge to your audience in one fell swoop? We can certainly have a tendency to do this, but it’s not wise, as you’re working against brain science, which has found that humans can only hold three to five items at a time in our short-term memory. .

You may have memorized your bank account number, your Social Security number, and a few other numbers of professional colleagues, also friends, and some clients, but you’ve almost certainly “split” those numbers into groups of three or four.

Alda recommends using this knowledge by making no more than three main points at a time, especially if you are trying to communicate a complex idea.

Focusing on three points is a great idea because you use the Rule of 3, because three is a very familiar number to all of us, in religion, legend, storytelling, and even comedy. For that reason, three big points will be more memorable than two.

  1. Explain the same concept or information in several ways.

In fact, if you really want to follow the Rule of 3, you can explain your point in three different ways. That’s what Alda says he does whenever he talks about something complex or difficult to understand. “I think if you go in from different angles, you have a better chance of getting a three-dimensional view of this difficult idea,” he explains.

How do you explain the same thing in three different ways?

One approach is to give a direct explanation, then a metaphor, then a real world example. So, for example, if you wanted to explain the rule of supply and demand, you could start with the straightforward concept that when demand is greater than supply, prices rise, and when supply is greater than demand, prices fall. So you could use a metaphor to illustrate, maybe a village market where there is only one baker selling bread, and then three other bakers open stalls. And then you could ask your audience if they noticed that when the economy slows down, prices often drop because people travel less and companies ship less goods, which means there’s less demand for gasoline and other petroleum products.

  1. Repeat yourself.

You don’t want to say the same thing over and over like a trained parrot. You might upset listeners if you do. But when used correctly, repetition is an incredibly powerful thing—so powerful, research shows, people will start to believe even an obviously false statement if they hear it repeated enough times.

So harness the power of repetition by using spaced repetition, coming back to the same idea, statement, or theme over and over again over time. This is very effective if you do it for days or weeks, but it can also be a powerful tactic if you repeat the same concept, fact, or idea at intervals during a single speech or presentation.

Use these three tools, sticking to three main points, explaining those points in multiple ways, and repeating spaces, and you can guarantee that your audience will understand and remember what you’ve said. But, Alda warns, there’s one more thing you need to do that’s the most important of all: make a genuine connection with your audience. Using tools like these, she says, “should get you out of the connection. It shouldn’t be a checkbox you check.”

 

Making the kind of connection that Alda talks about is an essential step in building those relationships. So you need to make that connection first, and then use these tips to make what you say easy to understand. Do both, and whether you’re speaking to an audience of thousands or just one person, what you say will be truly unforgettable.

You don’t want to say the same thing over and over like a trained parrot. You might upset listeners if you do. But when used correctly, repetition is an incredibly powerful thing

 

Six easy ways to get people to listen to you

At first glance, listening doesn’t seem like a problem: it’s something we do most of the day, every day. But things are not always so simple.

Listening is not the same as hearing

Listening is not the same as hearing, since hearing someone is not enough to really understand them. Listening requires concentration and will. First, you have to want to listen, and then you need the ability to listen.

At the same time, listening plays an important role in communication.

In the business world, effective communication is absolutely crucial. Therefore, one of the skills that every entrepreneur, leader and professional must have is knowing how to make people listen to them.

How to get people to listen to you

a) Listen more

On average, people spend 70-80% of their day engaged in some form of communication. Listening occupies about 55% of one’s time. With an average attention span of just 25 minutes, it means that most of the information we hear doesn’t stick around. So if you want to be heard, you’ll have to get straight to the point. You want to be concise and make the most of the 25 minutes you have until your listeners start to lose their focus.

“Most people don’t listen with the intention of understanding; They listen with the intention of responding. —Stephen R. Covey

You might think that explaining things down to the smallest detail will make people understand you better. However, that is not always true. People get confused when they receive too much information at once and their focus shifts to simpler things. So instead of talking more, try to talk less and allow people to ask questions. By concentrating on conveying only the key information, you are encouraging listeners to ask questions and actually pay attention to your answers.

Harness the power of repetition by using spaced repetition, returning to the same idea, statement, or theme over and over again over time

 

b) Talk less about yourself

The reality is that in business and work environments, people are rarely interested in hearing about you and what you do.

The communication challenge

In fact, Ryan Fold, author, communication specialist, and TEDx Talk speaker, says that one of the biggest communication challenges is answering the question: “What do you do?”. Fold noted that most of the responses from entrepreneurs were so long and detailed that they often created even more confusion on the subject. Therefore, he developed the 3-1-3 method to make business communication more effective.

The method consists of three simple steps:

Question to answer: “What are the fundamental principles of your idea, that is, the problem you are solving, the solution you are offering and the market you are targeting?”

The answer should not have more than one sentence for each: problem, solution, market.

Finally, the three answers must be reduced to a single sentence.

If you want people to hear and understand your message, this one sentence should replace the long and confusing answers you used to give.

c) Pay attention to non-verbal communication

Communication is more than the words we say and the sounds we hear. In face-to-face interactions, nonverbal communication is paramount to getting our message across. The tone of our voice, our body language, facial expressions and gestures are very important parts of communication.

The way you stand, the way you look, and even the way you move give the other person clues about your intentions, your honesty, and your self-confidence. While words can be deceptive, nonverbal communication cannot be faked.

If you want people to listen to you, you need to convey that what you say is true and important. You will be perceived as trusting and honest if you can:

– maintain a constant tone.

– avoid repetitions.

– make eye contact.

– you’re standing up straight.

– you keep your head up.

This will be sending your interlocutor the message that you are well prepared with valuable information.

There is one more thing you need to do that is the most important of all: make a genuine connection with your audience. Using tools like these, she says, “should get you out of the connection. It shouldn’t be a checkbox you check”

 

d) Put important things in writing

Given the short attention span and the fact that people only remember about 35% of what they hear, the surest way to ensure that you’ve really conveyed the important stuff is to put the key elements in writing. That’s one of the reasons many companies today use team collaboration apps like Hubgets instead of face-to-face meetings.

Without a doubt, you will be able to grow your business and that too faster with better team communication. However, even during classic meetings, presentations combine verbal and written communication. Information that is written down is accessible to anyone at any time, making it more difficult to lose or forget.

e) Listen to others

Actively listening to others allows you to create a relationship with your interlocutor. Give them your undivided attention by asking them questions and summarizing what you are transmitting to them and what they are listening to to show them that they are really interested in what you are saying. Most people are more interested in listening to someone who shows concern about their problems and listening in return.

Also, by listening to other people you can learn a lot about them, which can be very helpful when it’s your time to speak. Framing the conversation in a way that is interesting to your interlocutor ensures that they really listen to you.

Listening is not the same as hearing, since hearing someone is not enough to really understand them. Listening requires concentration and will

 

f) Build relationships

People are more likely to listen to those they trust and respect. Talking to people you already know, whether they’re family, friends, or employees, is much easier than speaking to an audience for the first time. People tend to be skeptical of the unknown. Therefore, it is important to know your audience beforehand.

When you pitch an idea to someone, one of the most important steps in the preparation process is learning about the people you’re targeting. This is because finding common ground with your audience is the best way to create a connection and build a relationship that will get them to actually listen to you.

We are all humans

In general, listening, just like speaking, and any other form of communication is about human interaction. Getting people to listen to you shouldn’t be too difficult as long as you treat everyone with respect and follow the social norms that apply to the context.

 

 You’re a bad listener: this is how you remember what people say

We enter conversations with our own agendas and short attention spans, but if you want to build better relationships, you must master active listening.

Listening is difficult, and if we also pay little attention to others and focus only on our agendas and concerns, this can be a dangerous combination. However, when you speak, it is frustrating if you are not heard. You can build better relationships and get ahead in business if you learn to actively listen, says Cash Nickerson, author of The Samurai Listener.

“Listening helps you manage conflict, express respect, and be a better leader,” he says. “Unfortunately, most people don’t remember because they didn’t listen to it in the first place.”

Good listeners use skills that are similar to techniques used in martial arts, Nickerson says. “A good martial artist senses what someone else is going to do next because he is receptive and aware,” he says. “Those are all things that great leaders and successful entrepreneurs tend to do. Most people succeed based on their interpersonal skills, and communication, especially listening, is key.”

Listening implies being in the moment, which is related to martial arts. “When you’re present and in the moment, things move in slow motion,” says Nickerson. “You can take everything. If you are present, you will remember everything.

Nickerson disassembled the act of listening, identifying the parts of it with the acronym ARE U PRESENT:

Awareness: Start with basic awareness. Put your phone aside at least for a moment and stop thinking about what you are going to do later today.

Reception: you must be willing to receive new information. You can be present, but your mind can be closed. Let go of opinions and you have to be willing to let go of your prejudices.

Commitment: Being committed involves fairness back and forth, like a match of ping-pong. “I talk, you talk,” says Nickerson.

Comprehension: Listening with the intention of interpreting what the other person is saying. Enter a place of understanding, where you both speak the same language, figuratively and literally.

Persistence: Being willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander. If you get bored and tired, push to keep your attention.

On average, people spend 70-80% of their day engaged in some form of communication. Listening occupies about 55% of one’s time. With an average attention span of just 25 minutes, it means that most of the information we hear doesn’t stick around

Resolution: Close the conversation with conclusions and next steps. “Leaders are doers,” says Nickerson.

Emotions: Respect the existence of emotions and their functions. “Emotions can work for you or against you,” says Nickerson. “Recognize your roles and learn to discern them and their effect on your ability to listen to others.”

Senses: Use your other senses to help you remember. Look for clues in the other person’s body language or even possible deception.

Ego: Try to get your ego out of the conversation. A humble leader can listen more easily because he doesn’t associate his ego with success.

Nerves: When your nerves cause you stress or tension, they are getting in the way of being able to hear.

Tempo: Get in touch with the beat of the announcer. Being out of step with your way of speaking can make it hard to listen.

 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LISTEN

Listening is the foundation for growth and advancement, says Nickerson. “Imagine if you went to school and didn’t pay attention to anything, how would you improve?” And he adds that “great leaders advance by themselves; they are self-improvement machines. You cannot advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.”

Listening is also important because all people want love and respect; they want to spend time with people who listen. “Good listeners tend to go up and up,” Nickerson says. “There is no greater feeling than when someone listens. Not just pay attention, but listen.”

He recognizes that listening is not an on/off switch

“You could say, ‘Okay, now I’m going to try really hard to listen,’ but that’s not enough,” says Nickerson. “That is the most basic aspect of listening. Instead, strive for the big picture and let go of your narrow focus. It’s self-awareness, and a lot of biting your tongue.”

 

 How to get people to really listen to what you’re saying

Maybe you are giving a lecture, or just having a conversation. Whatever the case, you are always trying to do something that will be considered with approval by others and by yourself.

Do you want people to understand where your arguments are coming from and do you want them to react to that point in a way that shows they are listening to what you are saying? Of course, this is the ideal of rapport with your audience and of giving value to what you say.

The problem is that they are not always listening. You notice it in his distant gaze. Sometimes they get nervous and try to interrupt you in the middle of a sentence. Being ignored – that hurts.

“Most people don’t listen with the intention of understanding; They listen with the intention of responding. —Stephen R. Covey

 

In such situations, it is easy to blame others.

You may ask yourself the following questions:

– Do they lack the attention span to process your great wisdom?

– Maybe they are too tired?

– Too lazy?

– Just rude?

It’s time to turn those questions around. What if you are the problem?

Be honest: who wouldn’t want to hear a person who piques your interest? However, if a person is making a boring speech, why should you bother to listen?

It is time to change things. Here we will look at some practical tips on how to make people listen to you when you speak.

Speak clearly

The way you pronounce the words is important. If you speak too fast, the listeners will not follow you. If you’re too slow, they’ll forget what you meant by the time you get to the end of the sentence.

Talk less about yourself. The reality is that in business and work environments, people are rarely interested in hearing about you and what you do

 

Your speech should be completely natural

Fortunately, this can be practiced. A good exercise is to read the previous paragraph aloud. Then, try to say the same thing, but without reading the text. Pay attention to your voice.

Keep practicing with paragraphs from articles, books, or online magazines. Pronounce each and every word very carefully and do not rush through the sentence.

Try to practice with your own speeches as well. Write something and explain it to the mirror. Are you able to do that with a clear voice and tone? If not, keep practicing. The results will come.

Tone is just as important as speed and clarity of speech

Don’t talk too loud when you are giving a presentation or explaining something. When people want to sound confident, they often talk too loud. When they lack confidence, the tone is too low. You must hold a tone exactly in the middle: that is the point that shows true confidence.

Analyze listeners and give them what they expect

If you notice that a particular group of people is constantly ignoring you, analyze what they are reacting to:

– Do you like comedy shows?

– Do you like to hear about people’s experiences?

– You just want facts?

When you are more confident and know what your audience wants, you can adjust your speech to meet these expectations.

If you are dealing with a new group of people, then you can relax. They will be interested simply because you are a new person who has something to say.

Problems can come from people who already know you

It is the people you already know who give you the most problems, since they are so used to you and it is very likely that they do not expect anything interesting in your arguments. And this is the point at which you will have to make a change.

Communication is more than the words we say and the sounds we hear. In face-to-face interactions, non-verbal communication is paramount to getting our message across

 

 Take care of your posture

If you hunch your shoulders forward, do you know what you look like? Your audience will perceive you as lacking in confidence. They don’t see you as an authority. Some of them may feel sorry for you, but most won’t bother to listen.

It doesn’t matter if you are standing or sitting; You should always maintain a good posture.

A posture that conveys self-confidence is never rigid. He is relaxed, but authoritative. You must keep your back straight, but your shoulders relaxed.

Arms and hands are important. If you don’t know what to do with them, the audience will notice the confusion. Use small gestures to emphasize the important points of your speech. Don’t overdo it! If you are sitting, keep your forearms on the table.

You should keep your legs slightly apart when you stand. Remember: you don’t want to look too stiff, and that’s exactly how you’ll look if you keep your feet together. However, when sitting, you should keep your knees together.

Show some movement

There is a saying: “the best position is always the next position”. Make subtle, clean movements throughout your speech. You can also practice this in front of the mirror.

Remember to breathe

Have you noticed how you breathe faster when you’re nervous? If that happens, slow down.

Your emotional state affects your breathing, but the relationship is reversed: when you calm your breath, you calm yourself. If you find that you are not breathing, it means that you are too stiff. Calm down, relax and breathe slowly!

But how will the breath make the audience pay attention to what you’re saying? Well, it helps keep speech calm and controlled; and that is progress.

Make them commit

Who likes to listen to someone talk while remaining silent all the time?

If you want your listeners to pay attention, you need to engage them.

It begins with a warm greeting. This shows that you are approachable and that they are not willing to listen to robotic speech. A simple “It’s good to see you all here today. How are you?” will be a great start to your presentation.

With calm confidence, ask them what they think about a point you are raising. Let them talk if they have something to say. If they react, you will know that they are listening to you.

Invite them to ask questions at the end of your presentation. Let’s see if they understood you correctly. If not, explain the points that need further explanation.

Switch between methods

You’ll keep listeners interested if you launch a joke after making a serious point. Try to change the method or approach every few minutes.

After a detailed explanation of a point, for example, you can share a personal experience that demonstrates it. You can also add anecdotes and stories, as these are great ways to spice up your speech. Humor is always welcome if the topic of discussion is suitable for such an approach.

Use humor only if you feel comfortable with it.

A forced joke is never a good thing. Make sure the stories, examples, and anecdotes you use relate to the points you are making. Don’t ramble.

Switch between passive listening and active participation elements of the presentation. After a chat session, you should ask an engaging question.

Avoid negativity

Sometimes you are talking about serious topics that are not exactly positive. Hunger, pollution, poverty… you can’t exactly be happy with these things. When we recommend avoiding negativity, this is what we mean:

– Never turn your speech into gossip (gossip) or typical rumor mills, without any foundation.

Instead of complaining, show some solutions

If you constantly complain about poverty, for example, you won’t attract people’s attention for long. They know it’s bad. What they want to hear is what both you and they can do about it. You should elaborate on the problem to show how serious it is, but at the same time focus on possible solutions.

Don’t be dogmatic. If you are presenting facts, things are as they are

However, if you are presenting opinions, you must accept the fact that not everyone will agree. When you take the “this is the way I think and that’s the only correct way to think” approach, you’re killing the debate and the audience can’t say anything. They will just stop listening to you.

 

How aggressive do you have to be for people to listen?

You don’t need to be overly aggressive for people to listen to you. Instead, work to show that you are confident in what you say. You can show confidence through body language and choosing your words well.

When choosing your words, avoid using filler words like “like,” “good,” or “um.” It is very natural to use them when you are nervous or searching for your next word. However, they can undermine your authority and make you appear to lack confidence.

Your body language can be more confidently read when you take up more space. It’s easy to shrink into a small space when you’re feeling stressed.

If the person you’re talking to starts to get aggressive, staying calm and confident can also help to defuse the situation. Confidence can show that you are not intimidated by them, nor will you be influenced by their aggression.

Actively listening to others allows you to create a relationship with your interlocutor. Give them your full attention, for which you must ask them questions and summarize what you transmit to them and they are listening to show them that they are really interested in what you are saying

 

How to make people listen to you when you are quiet?

If you are a quiet person by nature, choose one of two approaches to being heard: speak a little louder or find a quieter place to talk.

You may be tired of hearing that you need to speak up. As a calmer person, you probably already know that you struggle with it. However, there may be brief instances where that is the best way to go.

At such times, take a deep breath and speak using the energy of your breath. It can also help to imagine that you are talking to someone much further away. For example, if someone is standing in front of you, imagine that they are standing by the door on the other side of the room. This can help you project a little higher.

 

The other option is to find a quieter space.

Try saying, “It’s noisy in here; Can we go out for a moment?

By moving to a quieter space, it’s easier for the person you’re talking to to hear you, even if your voice is low.

 

How do you make people who don’t like you listen to you?

If you know you’re talking to people who don’t like you, try to start the conversation by finding common ground. This can help them listen to you as they recognize that you are trying to connect with them. It can also help move the conversation forward in a more constructive way.

For example, if you’re talking to an upset customer, you might start by saying, “I understand you’re frustrated and I’m sorry the website doesn’t look the way you envisioned it. We both want you to be really happy with the final design. These are my suggestions on how to move forward.”

By doing this, you establish that you understand they are dissatisfied, apologize for your part in the problem, express that you both want the same goal, and finally offer a solution on how to move forward.

You can also build a relationship with the other person by connecting about shared interests that are less relevant to the conversation. The first moments of a conversation are a great opportunity to do this.

For example, if you see someone wearing a T-shirt with a sports team logo on it, you might ask if she watched the game on Saturday. Or if someone is taking their headphones off while you’re walking, ask them casually what she was listening to.

How to make people listen to you on the phone?

If you’re on the phone, it’s important to keep up with the conversation. Social scientists have found that speaking for more than 40 seconds puts you in danger of being perceived as rambling or oversharing.

Of course, you may need to stretch beyond the 40 second rule when entering the details of a business call. The key here is to grab your listeners’ attention with a “hook” or “elevator pitch” at the beginning of your speaking time.

You should start by asking a few questions and assessing what they are looking for (and whether you or your product can help meet their needs). Then, tailor the conversation to their specific needs.

If you’re expanding on a business idea and feel like you’ve been talking too long, you should offer your listener an opportunity to chime in by asking, “Do you have any questions about what I’ve said so far?” This can help you keep your listener interested.

Speak to be heard

Whether it’s speaking a little louder or learning to speak engagingly, there are concrete things you can do to help yourself be heard.

Remember to do these things:

– Know your audience: who are you talking to? Do they already agree with you or do you need to find common ground before giving your thesis statement? Also keep your audience in mind when deciding which stories to tell. For example, if you want to illustrate the importance of hard work, you could tell a story about your first fishing trip to adventurous and outdoorsy people. On the other hand, if you are speaking in an academic setting, you can talk about when you started learning a new language and how much work it took.

– You must be attractive: you must use techniques such as humor, stories, volume variation and rhythm to attract your audience. Entertain and inform your listeners to the best of your ability.

– Trust that you have something worth saying: tell your stories and share your knowledge with the confidence that others will want to listen. Some people lack self-confidence and don’t share their stories or share them apologetically. You can help people to listen to you by speaking with confidence.

– You must be a committed and supportive listener: remember to listen well when others speak. This shows others that you care about them and are engaged in the conversation, not just waiting for the next opportunity to talk.

This information has been prepared by OUR EDITORIAL STAFF

 

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